sloweye

I know we have the 'movie quotes' thread, but i though a comedy show one would provide a laugh.

I'll start us off with a few.


From 30 Rock (on Kenneth looseing his job to Jack in a poker game)

Liz: Kenneth, why did you bet that terrible hand?

kenneth: Why? Because I believe life is for the living. I believe in taking risks and biting off more than you can chew. And also, people were yelling and I got confused about the rules.

Liz: [about Kenneth] Well, it was nice of you to let him keep his job.

Jack: The Italians have a saying, Lemon. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." And although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct. In five years we'll all either be working for him... [Kenneth happily bikes away] or be dead by his hand.

sloweye

Another 30 Rock one:

(Kenneth chatting up Tracy's wife,trying to make him jelous so he will get back with her)


Kenneth: I like your top. I'm a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.

Angie: Uh-huh. Well, I don't have a husband any more, so... you can come over anytime.

Kenneth: Oh, I will! ......I'll come over at night.

sloweye

And one from the Mighty Boosh.......

Howard Moon: I'm an explorer.

Vince Noir: I thought you were a writer?

Howard Moon: I do many things. I span the genres - they call me the genre spanner.

Vince Noir: Yeah, they call you the spanner...

Alexa

One from Happy Gilmore

*I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good looking. I'm not very attractive.*

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