The kitchen

Alien · 09-21-2008, 09:04 PM

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now...cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train...cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house.

Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train... but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say...

"All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."

She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen...."

Phyllis Sidheuaine · 11-08-2008, 06:40 PM

This actually happened to a friend of mine (she was the one to report it on another board I belong to.)

To put it into perspective, she doesn't eat meat due to religious reasons (she's an upper caste Hindu whose family' came from the Madras region of India):

Quote:

Originally posted by lala
I once went to to a Doughnut shop with my friends for breakfast. Now, this young girl taking our orders was quite the ditz, to put it mildly. She made the croissants catch on fire in the toaster, while asking, "Are they supposed to catch on fire to heat up right?" in a dead serious tone. This is while the toaster is spewing black smoke.

I then proceed to order and Egg and Cheese Bagel. You know the ones, with the bagel, and an egg "patty" in the middle with some cheese. Simple enough, right? It even said it on the menu, so you'd think it would be quite obvious. So after ordering, the young lady promptly goes to the bagel rack and examines the bagel selection. After moments of thought, the girl turns around and says: "We don't have an egg and cheese bagel. We have an "Everything" Bagel. That might have egg in it..?"

Head. Wall.

Phyllis Sidheuaine

jokesman · 12-19-2008, 09:22 PM

I tried to go Christmas shopping last year, but I didn't have no money. I just went window-shopping with a brick.