Princess Ivy

Conventionaly, when women marry they take the name of their husbands, this was yelled about in the sixties and seventies and consequentialy, many women now don't change their name, or double barrell it with their new husband's . Nowadays some men are even changing their names when they marry, taking their wives names (tense/plural use wrong) - although i have been told that is more difficult as they have to do it through the courts, whereas when i married, my name changed automatically, and i'd have had to aply legaly to keep my own.
How do you feel about it? for me it was a great way o get rid of a hideious surnam that i hated, but now, when i think of possibly starting in a new relationship i have to consider that if i were to change my name, my kids would have different surnames from me...
right now, i'd like to take my mothers maiden name, however, with out my ex's permission, i'd not be able to change the names of my children, and out of sense of family i've chosen not to.

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Princess Leia: I don't know who you are or where you've come from, but from now on you'll do as I say, okay?

steve12553

I suspect you are venting frustration but unfortunately I don't have any sage comments. Most societies develope some sort of namimg convention and it's frequently not good for everyone. It can obviously hamper the start of a relationship, but a good one should be able to overcome it. Names are just words and hopefully any relationship you have or develope can see past mere words. Best of luck.

Princess Ivy

no, i'm asking a question on a once feminist issue and citing my own case as an example.
sorry if i wasn't clear, i wanted to know whether or not people still had feelings one way or another about changing names after marriage.

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Princess Leia: I don't know who you are or where you've come from, but from now on you'll do as I say, okay?

steve12553

In that case, I look at it two ways. On one hand I try to be open minded and accept what people want to do with things that should be their own choices. On the other hand, I've been around for more than half a century and get somewhat irritated by rule changes. On the other hand (three?), I'm not affected so I'm not feeling mistreated.

Leto

Well traditionnaly it differs from one country to another. As an example, in France (my father's country), traditionnaly the wife use her husband's name (but is still officially registred for the administration under her maiden name) except in North where both spouses add the other name to them. And in Italy (my mother's country), wives don't change names.
I've found a middle solution, I still use only my maiden name professionnaly, and add my husband's name to mine otherwise. For me it's logical, I was born in a family - hence my maiden name- and joined another one (although mainly composed of Vogons ) - hence the addition of my husband's name.
My daugther share her father's name, although since last year she could have had any combination of our names or only his or mine.

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Alexa

I must admit it depends on the name itself.

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"Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true" (R.W. Emerson)

Harpo

I have changed my name a number of times. From 1986-89 I used a daft alias for everything except officialdom. In 1996 I and my then partner changed our surnames by deed poll so we legally had the same name (one which we invented ourselves). After we broke up I used an alias again for a few years until 2004, when I stopped changing my surname and did without entirely.
In practice this means my middle name is now my surname, but that's fine because it's an old family name passed down through at least four generations.

Leto

And the administration of your country was able to follow all these changes ?

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Harpo

Yep.

As far as I know, anyway

Alexa

Why ?

__________________
"Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true" (R.W. Emerson)