I got Mail - Page 2

Phyllis Sidheuaine · 03-16-2006, 11:47 PM

From Behind the Name.com's the Lounge forum (P = poster, F = her father):

P: "What's for dinner?"
F: "Cheese, half-and-half..."
P: What is it? When it's all put together and cooked?"
F: "Dinner."
P: If I went out to eat and wanted to order it, what would I say?"
F: "Please."

Phyllis Sidheuaine

littlemissattitude · 03-19-2006, 04:14 AM

I've laughed so hard reading this thread that my face hurts. Seriously. :biggrin:

I especially like the pilot/air traffic controller ones. Except now I have this strange urge to go watch "Pushing Tin" - which, if you've never seen it, you should. It's very good.

Leto · 03-20-2006, 10:39 AM

reminds me of this memorable discussion in Red dwarf :

Quote:

Holly: No, they're from Earth. I hope they've got some spare odds and sods on board. We're a bit short on a few supplies.
Lister: Like what?
Holly: Cow's milk. Ran out of that yonks ago. Fresh and dehydrated.
Lister: What kind of milk are we using now?
Holly: Emergency back-up supply. We're on the dog's milk.
Lister: Dog's milk?!
Holly: Nothing wrong with dog's milk. Full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly. Lasts longer than any other type of milk, dog's milk.
Lister: Why?
Holly: No bugger'll drink it. Plus the advantage of dog's milk is when it goes off it tastes exactly the same as when it's fresh.
Lister: Why didn't you tell me, Holly?!
Holly: What, and spoil your tea?

Phyllis Sidheuaine · 04-06-2006, 06:23 AM

From a couple of icons I encountered at Bad RPers Suck:

1) Did you eat a bowl of STUPID for breakfast? Or are you always like this?
2) Textual Proctology: n. the fine art of pulling words and phrases out of one's ass while writing see also: diarrhea of the mouth

Phyllis Sidheuaine

Phyllis Sidheuaine · 05-07-2006, 12:35 AM

Holiday Fruitcake

1 C Water
1 C Sugar
4 Large eggs
3 C dried fruit
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 C Brown sugar
Lemon juice, nuts
1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey

Sample whiskey to check for quality. Try half a cup.
Take out a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another cup. Turn off the mixer.
Break two geggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the burner.
If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a screwdriver.
Tyr some more whiskey to check its toxisisticityly.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt.
Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one tablespoon of sugar or something...whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn on the cake pan to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway???

[Originally posted by wil] Phyllis Sidheuaine

steve12553 · 05-07-2006, 03:25 PM

A horse goes into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Phyllis Sidheuaine · 05-17-2006, 03:50 PM

Another from BtN.com:

Sometimes I just feel like smacking people with the dictionary, just to see if they absorb any intelligence through osmosis. - Cera's friend, Emma

Phyllis Sidheuaine

Alexa · 05-18-2006, 01:51 AM

Hehe, that's a good one. Maybe I'll try it on somebody at work.

Phyllis Sidheuaine · 08-20-2006, 09:23 PM

From a glass:

"I like to have a Martini,
two at the most,
three I'm under the table,
four I'm under the host!" Dorothy Parker

Phyllis Sidheuaine

Phyllis Sidheuaine · 11-29-2006, 06:28 AM

From the Live Journal community, Bad RPers Suck:

Face, meet hand, he's been right beside me through this whole ordeal.
Hand, meet face, he's been heading the team for a while.
You're aquainted? Excellent.
*Facepalm* - shiplizard

Phyllis Sidheuaine