its ten o'clock, do you know where your children are?

Princess Ivy · 02-02-2005, 02:17 PM

I remember as a child, tramping around the bush. going for hikes with my friends, wandering the neighbourhood. Playing video games in the local cafe after dark. We were cautious of stangers, but not paranoid. our parents (mine and my friends) were fine. so long as they knew where we were.
But now, my children are not allowed that same freedom, even although britain is a good deal safer than south africa. I won't allow my nine year old to go to the local shop on her own. Shes not allowed to stay over at her friends houses, and similarly her friends are not allowed to stay with us. We are all caught up in the paranoia of keeping our children safe. In fact they are over protected.
But what of the danger, is it new? or did we just not know about it in those golden days of childhood? and what danger are we bringing to our children by our own paranoia?

02-02-2005, 02:26 PM

It's the same over here. I remember being halfway across town on bikes, and the only instructions were 'Be home for dinner'. Now you can barely let your kid play in the back yard without worrying.

02-02-2005, 02:56 PM

Aye Ivy... I think it's a little of both. The danger is a little more and hence the paranoia is a bit more. Fortunately we live in a tiny village in the alps and I won't worry to much about that stuff. However, I did move here from Phoenix AZ and I know what you are talking about.

02-02-2005, 03:08 PM

I moved somewhere better to raise the kids for this reason. I have to drive about 70km each way to work now, but it's worth it. In my town, everyone knows everyone so my kids can't do anything without it being reported back to us, and they can go to the park in safety because they know someone in nearly every second house to ask for help if need be. Strangers stick out - you aren't considered a local until you've been here for 5 years...

02-02-2005, 03:36 PM

I hear ya shugar. I think if I live here for my whole life I will still be referred to as "the american" and everyone will know exactly who I am. 30 ppl in our village and only 400 in the fifteen mile radius. Nice area and I know EVERYONE.

02-02-2005, 03:58 PM

They can be a little 6 fingered out my way - not quite Deliverance - but there'd be some foot tappin' to the banjo duel. But nice people. We're semi rural and us city slickers will never be true locals as this story will tell. We had a black snake in the yard (about No.20 most dangerous snake in the world). 6 fingered snake catcher won't come out for No.20 - "Keep him in the yard. He'll keep the brown snake away." (Brown snake no.2 most deadly - Australia has 21 of the 24 most venomous snakes - not to mention spiders..) The locals around here would send their kids out with shovels to lop the head off the snake and take it to school for show and tell...But aside from the wildlife, it's safe. If we had any dodgy strangers in town, they'd probably form a posse and drive them out.

Princess Ivy · 02-03-2005, 12:18 PM

One of the biggest problems is that these people seem normal. If they walked around with identifying marks on them it would be a heck of a lot easier to mark out the danger.
And the internet is just making it easier for the predators. I know of a case, daughter of friends of mine. a fifteen year old who has been caught sneaking out of school to meet up with twenty to twenty five year old blokes that she had met online.
Now its none of my business, shes not my daughter. They've banned her from online chatting, but imo thats no solution. if shes already sneaking off from school, she can use a macdonalds pc for £1 for half an hour.
So there definatly are new dangers all the time. my own daughter is alowed to play on the pc (games) and to visit sites which she finds interesting (like disney chanel), but we are very strict about a no chatting rule. anything which she signs up for recieves either my own, or my husbands e-mail address. the pc is in the living room and there is no way she can use it without being monitored.

02-03-2005, 12:58 PM

My eldest is 13 - she's a hormonal nightmare, but she's at home with us and we know where she is and what she's doing. I take the time to give her 1 on 1 attention - we watch football together nearly every Sat night. It's our time. So while her friends smoking, drinking, getting intimate with boys, she's at home with me and loves our time together. Maybe I'm just lucky I've got a kid who wants to hang with me, but I'm a believer you have to give them a reason to stay home, and attention is the best gift you can give them.

Princess Ivy · 02-03-2005, 01:44 PM

no i agree with that, my kids do things with us. special time is fought over. we also used planned activities like brownies for supervised contact with other kids.

02-03-2005, 01:53 PM

It's just hard to spread yourself around sometimes to get to them all - especially when there's 4 kids (what were we thinking?!?) not to mention the wife, time for yourself, work, the dog, reading, this forum etc etc - I think we parents deserve a pat on the back for the job we do come to think of it!